How to Be a Terrible Wedding Guest

These days, most people know what to do and not to do at someone’s wedding.  Don’t wear white, don’t propose to someone, and don’t you dare eat the cake before the couple cuts it.  But things have changed, and what’s appropriate now might not have been before, and vice versa.  With the wedding season quickly approaching, we thought it might be nice to put together the things you can do if you want to be a terrible wedding guest, so you know what to avoid in the future.

TAKE PICTURES OF THE CEREMONY WITH YOUR CELL PHONE

Who cares that the engaged couple spent thousands of dollars on finding a wedding photographer that understands their dynamics as a couple and can really capture the feeling of the day?  You have the newest iPhone, and you should stand up and take as many photos as you want!  After all, you’re going to keep those pictures for at least one month or until your phone storage runs out.

OVER/UNDER DRESS FOR THE OCCASION

The wedding is semi-formal, and while you don’t have a cocktail length dress you love, you do have a sequined evening gown you spent a fortune on that you have been meaning to wear again.  Now is the time to bring that blingy little number out and show it off to the town.  So what if people are looking at you more than the bride(s)?  You look amazing!  And why would you not consider wearing jeans if the invitation says “black tie optional”?  It says it right there on the invitation “optional”!  And it’s not like you are going to be wearing your everyday jeans.  No, you’re going to wear your dress up jeans, the ones you iron, with a sports coat.  If they wanted you to dress up, they would have specifically told you so.

ARRIVE LATE TO THE CEREMONY

Weddings tend to run late, so there is no reason to arrive exactly at 5:00pm.  Take your time getting ready, and get there when you can.  You know what they say…better late than never.  So what if you walk in right before the bride(s)?  At least you get to have an exclusive moment before the walk down the aisle!  And wedding ceremonies are so short these days, do you really need to see the whole thing?  Might as well just head to the reception, grab a drink, and start on our next suggestion.

GO TO TOWN ON THE OPEN BAR

It’s been a long week, and you are ready to blow off some steam.  Luckily, you just found out that the bar is open, and even though you swore off whiskey after what happened at the last wedding, you should give it another shot.  Pun intended.  Every reception needs that one wedding guest to get the party started, so it might as well be you!  Plus, after a few drinks, you’ll be ready to give that speech no one asked you to.

GIVE A SPEECH

Now that you have some liquid courage, it’s time to grab that mic and declare to all of the wedding guests just how much you love the couple.  People are going to be talking about this speech for years, so don’t skimp on any details.  Make sure you throw in a super embarrassing story about the couple you swore you would never mention; they’ll think it’s funny!  And definitely mention any issues the happy couple has battled with during their relationship.  It will only remind them how far they’ve come!

Want to be an amazing wedding guest?  Don’t do anything on this list, and you can guarantee those invites will keep rolling in 😉